Dear Ones,
We are here to tell you that fatigue is real. It is also, generally, unbidden. It is also, generally, impersonal. You are not at fault, nor are you being punished. When you find yourself fatigued “for no reason” we implore to you add up a few factors you might be experiencing which could possibly make you weary.

Think of  a friend who is tired. You ask, why are you tired. They say, I don’t know, I haven’t been doing much… You say, ah, me neither. Then you say…This pandemic, though. The political scene. The heat, the smoke, the floods, the drought, I’m so anxious all the time.

Friend says yeah, and all the screen time/the kids and school/work/being on the front lines/being unemployed. Going through our savings. Going to the store is scary. I just want to go to a movie/go out to eat/hug my friends. We don’t know how long this will last. What happens next? Where will we all go from here?

Are people really listening, at last? Are they paying attention? Are they going to try to hurt me? Am I going to lose my shit and hurt someone else, or myself? How do we fix all the brokenness we see and hear and feel?

Business is slow/business is overwhelming/busier than ever/had to close the doors. I am exercising online/in the park/not as much as I used to/never/all the time but it doesn’t help. I am eating too much/not enough/I can’t cook/I do nothing but cook/I can’t taste my food and I worry is it covid or am I just tired. I am so tired.

Maybe it begins to be clear where the tiredness comes from.

Do you see the problem? No matter what you do or don’t do, no matter which way you turn, it is exhausting. There is no solution in sight, the seasons are changing, what happens now? There is no reason to hope, is there?

There is hope. There is always hope. We will not tell you what to do or how to feel it from here. We want you to know it is normal, when everything seems abnormal, to be tired. The uncertainty of life is like pinholes in the balloon of your psyche, and you slowly and inevitably deflate.

Fatigue is a weariness brought about by the battle of the psyche and the being, trying to make normality when there is none to be had. We have given this notion, this phrase, for those of you who find it useful: Make Peace With This. Stop fighting to make it OK. It is not OK. You are wasting precious resources telling yourself that you – and the world – should be otherwise right now. You should not. You need only be just as you are, which is fine in this moment and also changes over time.

Do not be discouraged. Things always change over time.

Things are unraveling, and that is good. The prior fabric was rotten cloth, still strong enough to exclude those who need protecting the most from the shelter it gives. The unraveling means it will need to be woven anew. Fresh, with strong strands, of a bright color and large enough to give each one what they require. Not deserve but require. You do not need to deserve anything. What you require is enough. Please make peace with this as well. No need to wrestle with old questions of good enough. No need to question your lovability.

The more you can sink into each moment – any moment, really – and just be with it, no pushing or pulling, no self-depreciation, no willing it to be other than it is, the better off you will be. When you waste less energy on resistance, you will have more energy for presence. You could even accept and make peace with the fatigue. It is real and there is good reason for it. It will not last forever, but when it arises, let it be.

(Ker wants us to be more explicit that making peace is not the same as giving up. It is precisely the opposite, and it has the opposite effect. Making peace frees you up and brings you into contact with your life. It does not mean stand idly by and let shit rain down upon you. It means you  recognize the rain and gear up for it, and/or go inside. It means you have energy for compassionate action, no longer frozen in the impossible struggle of trying to make it not be as it currently is. Got it? Good.)

Much love and many blessings,

BlueStar & Counsel of Light