Grief is sorrow mixed with loss and possibly regret. Grief signals an ending, of life, of hope, of what might have been, of what was going to be. It is a reckoning that most would rather do without.

Grief is not simple. It is very often fraught. It is the finality of the loss of innocence, the impossibility of unringing the bell. It cannot be undone.

When you enter a state of grief there is a shock that occurs, and then the sensation of falling. For some events or experiences it happens quickly; for others feels like a thousand years. There is no time frame for grief, nor a place for it, really. It takes up residence, and continues to dwell within.

It has many layers and a timeline all its own. The agenda of grief is hidden, only seen clearly, if at all, in retrospect. It knows things you will not know for a long, long time, but it keeps those things near, so you feel them.

Grief arises, unbidden, at unfortunate times, and invites you to participate in the shadows of your life. So much is hidden there, so much depth you might have never touched if not for grief. These are your riches; use them well.

Nobody knows how to grieve properly, not in the sense that it ever gets done. That is impossible. Grief is a lingering flavor, savory, bitter, and sweet, adding dimension and contrast to everyday life.

In a sense, grief is the underlying experience of all of humankind. Fundamentally, your separation from the Oneness is the basis of this whole experiment called Life. When you came to Earth, you both lost and gained a home. Confidence that you shall someday return to that state surely wavers, here in the land of conditions and apparent separation. You remind each other that you are all one, that humanity is one, and that nobody is really separate from the whole. But to say it and believe it and deeply, immovably feel it – those are all different things. ❀

What we mean by this is to include your whole self in your regard. Include others’ whole selves as well, the parts you agree with and the parts you do not. The parts that annoy you and the parts that attract. The parts you find acceptable and the parts that repel. Include it all.

You are more than the sum of your parts, but without the entirety of your self, you will never be all of yourself. Making particular demands on yourself in order to include aspects in your regard is called conditional love, and believe us – It Does Not Work.

Nobody responds well to rejection, which is exactly what exclusion is. When you decide to only love your body at a certain weight or fitness level or functionality or behavior on command, that is excluding entire huge swaths of your own very human condition. It is unreasonable and unnecessary and it does not get positive results.

Have some curiosity about aspects of yourself you have rejected. What if it is included, in the package of you, to have warts? What if it is included to sometimes belch? Are you allowed to get older and wrinkled? Are you allowed to have folds in your skin at all? There is no stretching and growing and becoming without those folds, so you might want to include them in your inventory of things you cannot live without.

To include the whole kit and kaboodle, of yourself and of others, is to accept a cosmic invitation to a mysterious and intriguing joy ride. You can be prickly and sweet. You can be intelligent and also not bright. You might mean well and do poorly by someone.

Each human is a walking box of paradox, and the sooner you can accept all your bits and pieces, the sooner they will seem to fit together. And that makes you whole. And that makes you greater than the sum of all your parts. Even the ones you dislike. They have something to offer as well, you know.

Some people feel that anger is a distasteful thing. Now to be angry all the time for no reason and to take it out on others, that is an annoying habit that will not get you anywhere. But mostly this kind of thing happens when a person rejects their own anger, vowing that it has no home, it is bad, it is wrong.

When anyone is excluded like that, they are liable to bang on the door. Anger does have a place in the world, and in the human experience. There are plenty of times it is called for and it brings, ultimately, protection. So it requires inclusion for any human to be whole

Bring your whole self with you, wherever you go. ❀

Fruition is an ongoing process. It is not only the point where what you wanted to happen, happens. Fruition is everything along the way, and after that.

Each moment of your life is the fruition of all that has come before. If you appreciate or enjoy anything about your present circumstances, then regret is absolutely moot. Because everything up to this moment has contributed to now; this moment is the sum of all your choices and events.

Solitude may be the fruition of your relationships that didn’t work out. That leads to loving yourself, if you let it. Community might be the fruition of all the times you were lonely, until you finally stood up and walked out to find people again. Everything is the fruition of what came before, but you’ll never know exactly what came from what.

If you dislike anything about today, you have no need to blame. Just think for a moment about what brought you here, and contemplate what might take you onwards. Do not denigrate yourself or others; do not blame or guilt or find fault. Every choice, every event, and your perceptions and responses to those things, make up the mosaic of What Is. Here you are, so rejoice.

All your steps that brought you here were acts of faith. Please trust yourself to carry on accordingly. Even if you are unhappy, you have done no wrong that cannot be accounted for and healed. You have also done no right that cannot be undermined, dismissed, or regretted. Rest in confidence, and go on. Everything changes.

You don’t need to be cheerful all the time, but appreciate the fruition of your life. It is waiting right in front of you, low-hanging fruit. If you are hungry, eat of it. If someone else needs it, give it to them. There will always be enough to go around. The elements of your life are fertile, as is the ground. Each moment seeds are being planted, each moment tasks are being tended to, each moment you reap what you have sown. This is called karma, the simple balancing act. ❀